Learn To Deal With Our New Reality
…because a catastrophic event has happened and we need to deal with it.
It has happened; that worst-case scenario we often hear about. I can be a blind optimist and tell you that things will be back to normal, soon. But I don’t do that. I don’t want to pander to the predominant narrative. I don’t want to be that liar who lies just to make people feel better.
Most of us are currently locked into our permanent or temporary homes. Most of us are stuck indoors without our families and our support systems. Luckily though, almost all of us have access to an internet connection. We can leverage that to maintain our sanity, and to live our best lives (given the circumstances).
I will begin by stating a fact — the Coronavirus disease is a catastrophic event. As of 26th March 2020, it has infected 471,783 people globally, and it has taken 21,306 unsuspecting lives. Unlike other infectious diseases that make us lay flat on the ground within 24 hours, the Coronavirus takes its sweet time exhibiting symptoms. Given how Governments failed to do their part regarding informing us about a brewing pandemic, the virus spread everywhere. Governments are still not acknowledging the full scope of what’s happened and what’s yet to come. Some of them have rightfully locked us down. That makes our situation ambiguous. We know all of this. But, because our situation is ambiguous, our mind is stepping in to fill the gaps.
Stop that. Stop falling prey to what psychologists refer to as Mortality Salience. Simply put, Mortality Salience is our tendency to lose our minds while facing the prospect of untimely death. To quote the study,
“Mortality salience, or awareness of the inevitability of one’s own death, generates a state of anxiety that triggers a defence mechanism for the control of thinking that affects different human activities and psychological processes.”
Stop that immediately.
I know it’s hard. Trust me, I do. But I also don’t want to become another statistic. I would rather remain human and learn to deal with my new reality. You can do the same.
Let me tell you how:
1. Build a community or strengthen the one that already exists.
See, I am an introvert. For me, something like building a community is a daunting task, but I am doing it. I am building and strengthening my community because I don’t want to experience fear.
Fear can drive us apart, or it can pull us together. We are all afraid of Covid-19. This crisis is taking a social and emotional toll on every one of us. Acknowledge it and start dealing with it, one conversation at a time. Find inner resources via meditation and self-reflection to deal with our new life because life as we know it is over. The definition of what’s normal will change moving forward. Why not turn it into a positive change?
2. Talk about this shared common experience (COVID-19) with people.
It’s a pandemic. It’s global. Something else is global — life and death. Death is something that happens naturally or via an accident. If you fear it to the point that people are currently, you overwhelm the medical system; you scare your family; you appear to be a lunatic. Life is fragile, with or without the Coronavirus. Talk about life and death. Set your medical priorities in order. Denying or avoiding the reality of death won’t change its built-in reality.
Everybody dies. Death is never pretty, even if it’s natural. Talk about the reality of your mortality with people you trust.
3. Define what happiness means to you.
Society has a narrative about happiness and joy. Don’t just go along with it because while seeking this narrative, you set unreal expectations which will ironically make you unhappier.
This new reality of ours is catastrophic. You will have to redefine many things moving forward. Make defining happiness one of them. Happiness is an extremely personal concept. What makes me happy might annoy you. My definition of happiness will rarely intersect with yours, so define your own happiness. Make it a priority. Then start seeking the things that make you happy.
4. Re-explore your forgotten hobbies or pick up a new indoor hobby.
Hobbies bring joy. There are things that we all love to do a few minutes each day — painting, playing games, gardening, designing stories, reading, etc. Given how busy our lives were, the few minutes really were few. Now that we are locked down, go pick that hobby right back up.
Hopefully, you have defined your happiness. Include a new or an older, forgotten hobby in pursuit of your happiness.
5. Make healthy choices.
We are unhealthy. Our lifestyles, which prioritised convenience over anything else, made us make these unhealthy choices about food, exercise, hygiene, and sleeping habits.
Now, you have at least 20 odd days to quit that unhealthy habit that is ruining your life.
My unsolicited two cents: People need so much medication these days because our bodies are failing to cope with our choices. If we make better choices, maybe we won’t have to gulp pills and tonics to stay proactive.
It takes a minimum of 20 hours to acquire a new skill. Use these 400 odd hours to do just that. Make incorporating healthy choices in your life a new skill.
6. Do that thing you’ve been putting off.
I am a die-hard Aaron Sorkin fan. Ever since he recommended reading Aristotle’s Poetics approximately three years ago, I have been wanting to read that book. I bought it. It’s a heavy book — literally and metaphorically. I put it down without finishing it.
Not anymore. I will read it and maybe summarise it here soon.
I was putting off reading a book I should have read three years ago, citing some juvenile excuses. Not anymore.
If you have been putting something off; cleaning your house, reading that book, taking that online course, writing that script, whatever it is, now’s the time to break that cycle. Do that thing you’ve been putting off. Once you do it, you will experience an overwhelming sense of achievement.
7. Stop picking up on the emotions of the people you follow online.
It’s an unfortunate fact of the world wide web — polarising and negative stories have more traction than stories that inspire. As someone who works in the content creation industry, that’s the first thing we learn. These shocking but clickable stories are what popular platforms will mostly push, which you will then consume.
Stop that.
I am not asking you to turn a blind eye to what’s happening around the world. I am merely asking you to not get overwhelmed by all the negative, emotion-laced stories.
8. Relax.
The competition is on pause. You don’t have goals, any goals right now. Just relax and cherish this time. Don’t let your emotions own you. You own your emotions. We can’t control everything, but we can control our emotions, reactions, responses, and connections.
So, relax. You are locked in. You cannot do much to change the things that will happen in your professional lives in the coming days. You can however prepare your mind. You can relax, just for a bit, until the pause button on our lives is lifted.
9. Help people in the big little ways.
Our leaders have let us down spectacularly. They won’t help us. They only concern themselves with things that, in retrospect, don’t matter.
Don’t let that happen with our communities as well. Empathise with the people who are suffering. If you are financially stable, donate to the local food and healthcare facilities. Support local businesses, don’t kick your tenants out for being late on rent for a month, call/video call people, babysit your neighbours’ kids for a while, volunteer as an online educator, talk to your community about investing in a communal garden where all the tenants can grow fresh produce; stuff like that. These are the small things that tend to make people thrive.
That’s it. I am done for now. If I think of some more ways to deal with this crisis, I will update the article. In the meantime, if you have nobody to talk to or listen to you, you can find me @Binati Sheth almost everywhere. Let’s get through this thing together, shall we?
Till then, stay safe, stay healthy!
